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fuck seafood
Sep. 18th, 2008 07:48 amso here's a story.
i need to get rid of that fucking turtle tank. decided i was going to clean it last night. i can be brave and move the turtles by myself, which was a feat, lemme tell ya. i used the net but the little fuckers wouldn't let go then stopped moving and i thought i suffocated them. but no, they were just assholes.
so i move the tank into the bathtub. the crab hides out in a hollow coral thing and usually doesn't move around much. i pick it up to take it out of the tub and underneath it was a floating crab body. it looked dead. ew! i wigged a little bit and tried not to have a complete panic attack. even with the net there was no way i could touch it. i swished the tank around to see if it would respond. nope. again? nothing. shit, it's dead. help!
i go knock on delano's door. no answer. FUCK! what do i do? i didn't know if simon was planning on coming over or not but he had no choice now. i was gonna call his ass up. as i'm walking back, i see delano coming from the parking lot. yay! i told him i was a scared little bitch and needed his help, so he came over. he took the net, scooped up the dead crab and put it in the toilet. bye bye crab, thank you delano! we talk about taking the turtles to the park again and agree to go later. he goes back to his apt and i go back to cleaning the tank. i pick up the coral to take it out...
AND THE FUCKING CRAB COMES SKITTERING OUT THE BOTTOM!!!
what the fuck! what the fuckity fuck? devil crab! did you know they MOLT?! i had no idea. it never occurred to me. i thought i was going to die from heart attack right there. i almost started crying! at that moment i said fuck it. i'm not cleaning anymore. i left it in the bathtub and went outside for a smoke. i tried to make my heart go back down from jumping up into my throat.
THIS SHIT NEEDS TO LEAVE MY HOUSE!
delano came back over but it was kinda late to take the crabs, plus simon had called and said he was coming over after all. the three of us hung out for the rest of the night and had a good time.
fucking crab.
i need to get rid of that fucking turtle tank. decided i was going to clean it last night. i can be brave and move the turtles by myself, which was a feat, lemme tell ya. i used the net but the little fuckers wouldn't let go then stopped moving and i thought i suffocated them. but no, they were just assholes.
so i move the tank into the bathtub. the crab hides out in a hollow coral thing and usually doesn't move around much. i pick it up to take it out of the tub and underneath it was a floating crab body. it looked dead. ew! i wigged a little bit and tried not to have a complete panic attack. even with the net there was no way i could touch it. i swished the tank around to see if it would respond. nope. again? nothing. shit, it's dead. help!
i go knock on delano's door. no answer. FUCK! what do i do? i didn't know if simon was planning on coming over or not but he had no choice now. i was gonna call his ass up. as i'm walking back, i see delano coming from the parking lot. yay! i told him i was a scared little bitch and needed his help, so he came over. he took the net, scooped up the dead crab and put it in the toilet. bye bye crab, thank you delano! we talk about taking the turtles to the park again and agree to go later. he goes back to his apt and i go back to cleaning the tank. i pick up the coral to take it out...
AND THE FUCKING CRAB COMES SKITTERING OUT THE BOTTOM!!!
what the fuck! what the fuckity fuck? devil crab! did you know they MOLT?! i had no idea. it never occurred to me. i thought i was going to die from heart attack right there. i almost started crying! at that moment i said fuck it. i'm not cleaning anymore. i left it in the bathtub and went outside for a smoke. i tried to make my heart go back down from jumping up into my throat.
THIS SHIT NEEDS TO LEAVE MY HOUSE!
delano came back over but it was kinda late to take the crabs, plus simon had called and said he was coming over after all. the three of us hung out for the rest of the night and had a good time.
fucking crab.
