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Nov. 4th, 2007 08:16 pmin one week from today, i will be so happy that i will piss on everyone and everything. or i will squeal so high your eardrums will bleed. beware.
i have this tendency to view my surroundings from an outsider's perspective. you know how you just get used to your environment and then you stop thinking about it? my brain steps out of that sometimes. like, i'm cruising around the valley today and just looking at things. looking at the area, the people, the stores, etc. and i thought, some people would perceive this as "ghetto". i was thinking of how someone from YL would view it. or how my cousin might. (she's a self-admitted class-ist.) or like a potential home-buyer. it's not pretty, it's not high-end, and there are a lot of mexicans hanging around. but it's my home. then i went to the grocery store and saw more mexicans and lots of black people (including the couple in front of me with the bad check and then they just left their shit and walked out). i thought about how my mom would get scared and freak out that i leave my car unlocked with the windows down.
then i go back to oc and do the same thing. it's so pretty. the tress are so green. there's less traffic and things just look nicer. not a lot of people just hanging out on the street.
but looks mean nothing. i hated living there. i like it here.
it took me a long time to get used to this area. it's really hard for me to get comfortable and acclimated. i am resistant to change. then again, i think moving out of the actual ghetto helped. i'm really spoiled living in this apt. i have hot water everyday and it's quiet. and soon, i will have my baby.
i have this tendency to view my surroundings from an outsider's perspective. you know how you just get used to your environment and then you stop thinking about it? my brain steps out of that sometimes. like, i'm cruising around the valley today and just looking at things. looking at the area, the people, the stores, etc. and i thought, some people would perceive this as "ghetto". i was thinking of how someone from YL would view it. or how my cousin might. (she's a self-admitted class-ist.) or like a potential home-buyer. it's not pretty, it's not high-end, and there are a lot of mexicans hanging around. but it's my home. then i went to the grocery store and saw more mexicans and lots of black people (including the couple in front of me with the bad check and then they just left their shit and walked out). i thought about how my mom would get scared and freak out that i leave my car unlocked with the windows down.
then i go back to oc and do the same thing. it's so pretty. the tress are so green. there's less traffic and things just look nicer. not a lot of people just hanging out on the street.
but looks mean nothing. i hated living there. i like it here.
it took me a long time to get used to this area. it's really hard for me to get comfortable and acclimated. i am resistant to change. then again, i think moving out of the actual ghetto helped. i'm really spoiled living in this apt. i have hot water everyday and it's quiet. and soon, i will have my baby.
